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50+ Hilarious DC’s Peacemaker Quotes From The HBO Max Show

DC’s Peacemaker is absolutely HILARIOUS and jam-packed with some of the best quotes in the DCEU. Here’s a collection of the best ones.

peacemaker hbo max review

Best Peacemaker Quotes

Peacemaker is not the best human out there, but he doesn’t know it. He is crass, vulgar, and a little bit racist and sexist. DC’s Peacemaker on HBO Max is going to try its hardest to make you feel for him though. With that comes some hilarious and amazing quotes — keep in mind these will contain language! Here is a collection of the best ones from the HBO Max show about DC’s Peacemaker.

As always, we try to keep these spoiler free by not attaching names to the quotes, but as you go further down the list, the more spoilery the list can become.

“Can you maybe up the contrast on the X-ray a little more to show the definition in my muscles?”

“I don’t have any weed on me, man.”

“I went to MIT. I don’t like responsibility.”

“That is the opposite of everything you’ve been saying.”

“Most superheroes have a gymnast body.”

“Fuck Aquaman.”

“He bangs chicks? Good for him. He fucks dudes? Got no problem with that. He starts fuckin’ fish? That’s taking it a step too far.”

“I refuse to believe that @PepetheFrog89 is lying to me for no reason.”

“I made a vow of peace, no matter how many people I have to kill to get it.”

Related: Peacemaker Series Review: Hot Damn, James Gunn Does It Again

peacemaker hbo max review

DC’s Peacemaker quotes continued…

“If we have a kid, I’d like to name her Octopussy.”

“And if it’s a boy, Sharknado.”

“Hey dude, you’re eating four year old olives out of my fuckin’ fridge.”

“I know inside my mind I’m not supposed to be giving a speech but sometimes my mouth just does what it wants, so…close mouth. I’m bitin’ my tongue right now.”

“Am I going to be fighting Mothra?”

“New lamp?”
“No. It’s three months old.”
“Been in prison for four years.”
“Don’t make it newer.”

“Dad! Grab my phone, I don’t wanna move.”

“Oh sweet, we have a piano. That’s useful for black ops.”

“Costume? This is a uniform. And it’s brand new.”

“Is your dog named Doggy?”

“It’s like calling someone sugar tits.”
“That’s totally inappropriate. Her tits are way too big to be sugar tits.”

“I don’t wanna come to your abortion, man.”

peacemaker hbo max review

DC’s Peacemaker quotes continued…

“What was that next word? ‘You ugly fucking’ what?”

“No, the way that you did it made it stalkery. I just described it.”

“Cool! And I’m just trying to fuckin’ have a beer, but whether it’s those douchebags or you, I guess that’s just something that I can’t have in my life because I don’t know, I wear makeup?”

“One of them, Emerson, he likes to wear little outfits. Do you think that’s gonna make him a bigger target?”

“I think it’s a face. A human face.”

“He doesn’t want to wear the clothes, he’s just willing to humiliate himself for your love.”
“I think he just likes looking smart.”

peacemaker hbo max review

DC’s Peacemaker quotes continued…

“Oh, you’re gonna put down my musical taste now?”

“You are murdering my spirit!”

“Who knows what’s gonna happen. I’m tied up. I’m helpless. I mean, anything could fucking happen, right?”

“Walking scrotum here doesn’t like egg foo young.”

“I’m not gonna text you when I’m taking a shit.”

“We’re trying to get this man on our side, and you thought the right way to do that was to frame his father?”

“I’m not gonna fucking look, oldest trick in the book.”

“What does that have to do with Louis C.K.’s comedy specials?”

Related: The Best Quotes In James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad

peacemaker hbo max review

DC’s Peacemaker quotes continued…

“Okay, of all people, who’s your best friend?”

“I can’t believe they legalized that shit. Three years ago I would have shot you both in the face for that.”

“It’s definitely not the hot guy.”

“You ever see a one millimeter finger? Gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

“I was just trying to slip it into the conversation. Hope nobody noticed. My bad.”

“I’m just looking from behind a trashcan. It’s a normal thing to do.”

“None of them is the type to be a best friend.”

“If one of the does become a friend, it should be here because there’s a bunch of rumors going around about you being racist, and you know, frankly it’s a little embarrassing for me.”

“She just threw you under the bus!”

“I didn’t know that WhatsApp would just automatically put this on the device.”

“Just because that child is unattractive doesn’t mean I want to kill it.”

“Every time I draw a dove of peace, it looks like a ghost.”

“No. But I saw it as an opportunity for growth to say I was.”

“You’re fuckin’ adorable. I want to put you in my pocket.”

“Wookies have teeth on their asshole. That’s canon.” 

“Big, swole man. So tough.”

“If someone doesn’t have a pinky toe, they’d fall over!”

“It’s the most important toe in the human body!”

“Oh. Project Butterfly.”

NEXT: 40+ Of The Best & Most Hilarious DC Peacemaker Memes

Enjoyed these Peacemaker quotes? Be sure to check out my other quotes collections from your favorite movies and TV shows!

peacemaker hbo max series poster

About Peacemaker

Written and directed by James Gunn, PEACEMAKER explores the continuing story of the character that John Cena reprises in the aftermath of Gunn’s 2021 film “The Suicide Squad” – a compellingly vainglorious man who believes in peace at any cost, no matter how many people he has to kill to get it.

The series stars John Cena as Peacemaker, Danielle Brooks as Adebayo, Freddie Stroma as Vigilante, Jennifer Holland as Harcourt, Steve Agee as Economos, Chukwudi Iwuji as Murn and Robert Patrick as Auggie Smith.

Gunn wrote all eight episodes of PEACEMAKER and directed five, including the first. Gunn, Peter Safran and Matt Miller serve as executive producers on the series, with Cena as co-executive producer. Based on characters from DC, PEACEMAKER is produced by Gunn’s Troll Court Entertainment and The Safran Company in association with Warner Bros. Television.

The DC spinoff series premieres on HBO Max with the first three episodes,
followed by weekly episode drops every Thursday for the remaining five episodes through February 17.