The Afterparty on Apple TV+ is absolutely hilarious and a huge hit after just the first few episodes. Here is a collection of the best and most hilarious The Afterparty quotes.
Best The Afterparty Quotes
Apple TV+’s first three episodes of The Afterparty are available to stream now, and they are hilarious. There is so much to love about this quirky murder mystery show. Most viewers will be instantly hooked! The Afterparty is packed with silly, off the wall, and flat out hilarious quotes — here is a collection of the very bet The Afterparty quotes. Enjoy!
As always, we try to keep these spoiler free by not attaching names to the quotes, but as you go further down the list, the more spoilery the list can become.
Chief already called in a ringer from L.A.
She is in charge, as am I. Again we are both in charge.
No shirt?
You gonna sniff him like that?
There’s shrimp everywhere. Cooked shrimp, so not from the ocean.
Was someone playing dress up and kill the rock star?
Can I get one of those little yellow things with the numbers on it?
Y’all some messy white folks, I’ll tell you that much.
We will be collecting statements shortly so get comfortable folks. But not too comfortable. Like wool pajamas.
No social medias please, we don’t want this to look like a circus…even though it looks like Barnum and Bailey’s done came through this bitch.
The Afterparty quotes continued…
Get the cornstarch. The plot thickens.
You should be ashamed of yourself wearing heels pregnant. It’s bad for your back.
Here’s to reconnecting old covalent bonds.
Why wear a suit if you’re not going to wear a shirt?
Brett’s the answer to the question what if a human butt could wear a jacket.
I was just looking at you from the chin up, ’cause I’m so respectful.
This is where we keep the confiscated drugs.
Is that Mr. Shapiro the Science teacher and quite Heather?
Related: The Afterparty Review: A Unique & Fun Murder Mystery
They’re a wet tissue on top so I’m not touching it.
Then I took a nap, and I charged him double.
The truth is…you’re an alcoholic.
You are so lucky my kid’s in this car.
It’s okay daddy, I don’t need my koala, I can just hug a towel.
Where we’re going, is the one place I swore I would never go.
Can you hum your quiet song?
The Afterparty quotes continued…
I don’t have the koala-fications.
Anything you want out of this house is yours. We’ll say it’s evidence, it’s all yours.
Have a dance, have a dance.
This does not look very user friendly. I would have nailed this.
Suspects do not handle evidence.
What about those of us who missed our shot, didn’t rise to the top. Never became the cream and we just remained the crop?
Even though we all get one shot in life, we all get one shot…twice.
And there’s no way that I’m misinterpreting that.
He wants to do for me what 50 did for The Game…minus their ensuing beef.
Whatever means the possibilities are endless.
I’ll develop a drug problem, probably cocaine.
Don’t just sing whatever. It sounds much worse when you leave out yeah and sure.
Okay, that’s really mature. What are we back in High School?
I can’t stand this purgatory of the dot…dot…dot.
Who knows, tomorrow I could be partying with supermodels, drinking champagne by the bottle. Is this guy writing me a novel?
Who the hell types for this long? The entire duration of a song…
Oh hi Heather!
How great is this party?
I am inviting you to stop barging in on me.
Enjoyed these The Afterparty quotes? Be sure to check out my other quotes collections from your favorite movies and TV shows!
About The Afterparty
The Afterparty is a genre-defying series centered on a murder mystery at a high school reunion. Each episode explores a different character’s account of the fateful evening in question, all through the lens of popular film genres and unique visuals to match the storyteller’s perspective.
Tessa Smith is a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer-approved Film and TV Critic. On Camera personality and TV / Film Critic with 10+ years of experience in video editing, writing, editing, moderating, and hosting.