I’ve Never Seen Thor Before. Here’s What I Thought.
After two Iron Man movies and a flop Incredible Hulk origin story, a new Avenger has entered the chat: Thor.
The God of Thunder, played by Chris Hemsworth, has a few misadventures in Thor, as he goes from hero to zero real quick once his father Odin, played by the great Anthony Hopkins, essentially grounds him and banishes him to earth. There, he meets the wickedly beautiful and smart Jane, played by Natalie Portman, and gets into even more trouble.
I had some thoughts.
1. Today we’re being introduced to a whole new character who I really know nothing about except that he carries around a heavy hammer and his brother is Loki.
2. I’m also very excited to see my girl Natalie Portman in this movie.
3. And there she is right off the bat!
4. No good ever happens in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. And by the looks of whatever is in the sky, this doesn’t look that great!
5. “I am not dying for six college credits” — ain’t that the truth!
6. Does anyone else think that one guy looked like the Night King from Game of Thrones?
7. I’m definitely liking this fantasy/mythology vibe with the movie so far.
8. They got Anthony Hopkins for this movie!?! That’s quite a score!
9. Chris Hemsworth is so charming and dreamy *heart emojis*
10. Uh oh, trouble in paradise from the icy gang!
11. Loki is watching his dad and brother fight and I bet he’s thinking, “I’m staying out of this, I don’t want to get grounded.”
12. More than anything, I’m excited to see how Loki becomes the villain we know and love. He seems too nice right now.
13. Idris Elba is in this too???
14. Ooooh that deep voice. My, my.
15. Idris basically said I’m not saving any of you so good luck!
16. If only travel were this easy! Just blast off through some space tunnel. No layovers or long waits!
17. Everyone: we shouldn’t do this. Thor: la-de-da I can’t hear you!
18. Who would win in a fight, the Frost Giant or the Night King?
19. You just had to call Thor a “little princess” didn’t you, Frost Giant?
20. I kind of wish I was watching this in a theater so that I could actually see what’s happening on screen. Everything looks too dark on my television.
21. It looks like Loki is up to his trickery during this fight sequence.
22. Thor slamming down his hammer = Thor smash!
23. Wow, Thor’s hammer really can do it all. Even take down a massive beast.
24. That was enough fun and games, everyone, but Papa Anthony is going to save the day.
25. Thor is so getting grounded right now!
26. And now we’re back to the beginning!
27. I relate to Thor right now. I would fall in love with Natalie Portman with just one look.
28. Thor, buddy, you gotta knock down the 0 to 100 testosterone energy by at least 5,000 notches.
29. And there’s the hammer!
30. Hit me with your car, Natalie!
31. The hammer is getting its own Excalibur sword moment.
32. Ahhh Stan Lee sighting!
33. Kat Dennings said it right, Thor IS cut.
34. There goes Loki revealing himself to be the bad guy after all this time. Pretends to be shocked!
35. Loki just looked like he was the fourth member of the Blue Man Group.
36. OH! Now it makes sense why he was blue and why he wasn’t affected by the Frost Giant people.
37. No, Anthony! I don’t want to see you go so soon!
38. There’s only one person who can lift that hammer: me!
39. Another thing I never thought would be a huge part of these Marvel movies: SHIELD Agent Coulson. That guy shows up in every movie!
40. All hail King Loki!
41. Awww puppies!!! Best movie ever!
42. Someone chose a bow and arrow as their weapon, I wonder who they could be. Perhaps Hawkeye?
43. Thor rolling around in the rain and mud, something most pleasing to me.
44. It is Hawkeye!
45. Will Thor pull the hammer out!?!
46. No! Heartbreaking!
47. Maybe I am the only one who can get it out!
48. Loki pretty much delivered every bit of bad news possible to Thor. Dead father, Loki takes over the throne, Thor is still banished. Tough luck, Thor.
49. Sorry, Loki, you can’t lift the hammer either.
50. Thor grabbed Jane’s notebook on his way out of the SHIELD area, that’s true love right there.
51. Thor and Erik, just two bros getting some drinks. Where’s their buddy cop movie?
52. So far, I’m feeling a lack of energy from this movie. The earth scenes aren’t that exciting, while the Asgard moments are few and far between.
53. There goes bad Loki! He’s really just going to let his people die?
54. I’m thinking about those pictures of Natalie and Tessa Thompson sitting on their thrones and looking jacked in “Thor: Love and Thunder.” I can’t wait to see that.
55. I ship Thor and Jane so hard. I need more scenes with these two.
56. Idris Elba said, and I quote, “F—- the king!”
57. If Jane and the crew thought Thor was weird, wait until they see the Asgard gang and their outfits.
58. Never mind, they’re a total hit!
59. Noooo!!! Not Idris! That was such a frosty end for him.
60. This giant is definitely not one of Tony Stark’s bad boys.
61. Pause. I just saw a Donut Land shop in the background as this fight is unfolding, and I would really love some right now.
62. Is Loki going to spare him?
63. Awww yes! He does love his brother.
64. Op, spoke too soon.
65. It’s alright, Jane, Thor will live. He’s got a lot of movies to appear in from this point on.
66. The hammer is awakened! And it’s going to its rightful owner! (Not me :/)
67. Now does everyone believe that he’s the God of Thunder?
68. The fight with that giant machine monster wasn’t really exciting, but once again, I agree with what Jane said, Thor’s outside IS a good look.
69. Idris lives!!
70. So Loki is a hero now?
71. No, he’s still bad. This constant side switching is getting old.
72. Nothing but good ol’ siblings fighting. I’m an only child, so is this what all fights are like?
73. It’s actually hilarious that he put the hammer on Loki to put him in timeout.
74. No you can’t leave Jane behind, Thor! What are you doing!?
75. I have a feeling that’s not the last time we’ll see Loki, mainly because I know it isn’t.
76. Jane is so sad that she won’t see Thor again (as far as we know). Don’t cry my queen!
77. Awww, a sweet moment between Thor and Papa Anthony.
78. I’m still not entirely sure why Thor had to destroy the bridge, but let’s just pretend I know.
79. Once again Nick Fury makes his return.
80. The blue box! I know I remember this from the later movies.
81. Yep, there’s Loki up to more shenanigans.
Overall Thoughts On Thor
Overall, I felt a lack of energy from Thor. While I really enjoyed the people they assembled for this cast – Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman in the same film for starters – it didn’t live up to what it could have been.
Portman’s character, Jane, for example, really didn’t have a lot to do here, except talk about her research and yell when the SHIELD agents took it all away. Not even Loki, played by Tom Hiddleston, got up to as much fun as he normally does.
Hemsworth, though, really shines as Thor. He’s a hot-headed god in one scene, and in the next he’s scarfing down pancakes and looking so cute doing it. I know why they put so much emphasis and care toward his character – it’s the titular character after all – but I really wish they did more with the others.
I hope future Thor films will work on something called character development. Another issue I had with the film was how tame the fight sequences and drama felt. Scenes mostly seemed to move too quickly, especially in the third act, and there wasn’t much suspense.
In the end, I thought Thor was just OK. I have heard really good things about Thor: Ragnarok, so I’m hopeful that this series improves.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
NEXT: I’ve Never Seen Iron Man 2. Here’s What I Thought.
About Thor
As the son of Odin (Anthony Hopkins), king of the Norse gods, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) will soon inherit the throne of Asgard from his aging father. However, on the day that he is to be crowned, Thor reacts with brutality when the gods’ enemies, the Frost Giants, enter the palace in violation of their treaty. As punishment, Odin banishes Thor to Earth. While Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor’s brother, plots mischief in Asgard, Thor, now stripped of his powers, faces his greatest threat.
