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The Funniest Quotes From America: The Motion Picture

A collection of the funniest quotes from Netflix’s America: The Motion Picture — a historical satire movie.


AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE – (L-R) Olivia Munn as “Thomas Edison”, Jason Mantzoukas as “Samuel Adams”, Channing Tatum as “George Washington” and Simon Pegg as “King James”. Cr: America, The Motion Picture, LLC. © 2021

America: The Motion Picture Quotes

This movie is very tongue-in-cheek and meant to not be taken seriously at all. Because of that, America: The Motion Picture is filled with hilarious quotes — and this is a collection of the funniest ones. As always, none of these are meant to offend.

Warning, there could be minor spoilers in these quotes, so if you have not watched the film yet be careful.

“Dude, I just work here.”

“Something about representation.”

“Somebody’s gotta balance out all your boring politics.”

“Look, I don’t do well with interactive theater.”

“Arnold, behind you.”

“Without him, the revolution is dead.”

“That cherry tree didn’t chop it’s f*cking self down.”

“Gross, you were an orphan?”

“This guy gets it.”

“There’s gotta be another Thomas Edison — like a man Thomas Edison.”

“Ding Dong! It’s America Mother F*cker!”

“I forgot that you aren’t versed in the gentlemanly art of debate like your best friend Abe Lincoln. Oh, or should I say ex-best friend. Because he’s dead.”

“Gettysburg is impossibly vast. Finding this address is like finding a needle in a haystack.”


AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE – (L-R) Olivia Munn as “Thomas Edison”, Raoul Max Trujillo as “Geronimo”, Jason Mantzoukas as “Samuel Adams”, Killer Mike as “Blacksmith” and Channing Tatum as “George Washington”. Cr: America, The Motion Picture, LLC. © 2021

“What’s a small businesses greatest enemy?”
“White people stealing everything you own?”
“No. It’s taxes.”

“Clyde doesn’t want Pablo around anymore. Git! Get away!”

“Why want a slice.. when I can eat the whole a-pizza-pie?”

“Bring not the weapons that you would use to topple men..but the weapons that you would use to topple armies. To topple nations.”

“George, I wish I had a million friends like you.”

“Welcome to Y’all Mart.”

“My thrusters took some damage.”

“‘Ello Governor!”

“That’s not part of the plan ya dumb twat!”

“Teabagging them — literally?”

“Everyone beneath these skies will be turned British instantly.”

“Beer’s the exact opposite of tea, so one last f*ck you to the Brits, am I right?”

“I’m not a witch Sam, I am a Scientist.”

“Beer won the war!”

“Science happened.”

“It reeks of Ye Old Axe body spray.”

“Excuse me Sir, do you have have a moment to talk about freedom?”

“No, there’s no treasure map drawn on the back of it.”

“Don’t think of it as being a caretaker. Think of it as being family. Like the fun, drunk, now definitely no-longer-racist uncle that America has always needed.”
“Uncle Sam. I like it.”

“We’re gonna f*ck this up, aren’t we?”

Enjoyed these America: The Motion Picture quotes? Be sure to check out my other quotes collections from your favorite movies and TV shows!


About America: The Motion Picture

For, like, thousands of years, the origins of the United States of America have remained shrouded in mystery, lost to the sands of time. Who built this ‘country tis of thee,’ and why? Only the dinosaurs know… until now. For the first time in human history, the incredible, completely true story of America’s origins are revealed in AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE — a once-in-a-lifetime cultural event available the only way the Founding Fathers ever intended their story be told: On Netflix, on your phone, June 30th.

Starring America’s sweethearts Channing Tatum, Jason Mantzoukas, Olivia Munn, Judy Greer, Bobby Moynihan, Raoul Max Trujillo, Killer Mike, Andy Samberg, Will Forte & Simon Pegg.

America: The Motion Picture is available to watch NOW on Netflix.