A Collection Of The Best Quotes From Marvel’s WandaVision

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Marvel’s WandaVision is finally bringing us all back into the Marvel Cinematic Universe — here is a collection of the best quotes from this Disney+ series!

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Marvel fans had to go a whole year without any new content, but they are going to make it up to us in 2021. Starting with the new show, WandaVision, on Disney+ – nine episode weekly series that, I think, is going to set up a whole lot of things for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). 

This show has not disappointed so far, and I know it will continue to be amazing. So here is a collection of the very best quotes from Marvel’s WandaVision on Disney+.

Check out these highly recommended comic books to read before watching WandaVision!

WandaVision Quotes

This article will be updated after each WandaVision episode to add my favorite quotes. I do try to keep them spoiler free, however please know that if you have not yet watched the episode, there could be some spoilers ahead.

WandaVision Episode 1 Quotes

“My wife and her flying saucers” – Vision
“My husband and his indestructible head.” – Wanda

“That explains the empty refrigerator.” – Wanda

“Oh Wanda, I’m incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That’s not an exaggeration, in fact, I’m incapable of exaggeration.” – Vision

“Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My Mother-in-Law was in town, so I wasn’t.” – Agnes

“Those boxes don’t move themselves.” – Wanda

“The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd.” – Agnes

“You’re like a walking computer!” – Vision’s coworker
“What! I most certainly am not!” – Vision

“I don’t have a skeleton, sir.” – Vision

“If tonight doesn’t go well, I think this could be the end.” – Vision

“I was just reading a Cracker Jack Magazine article called how to treat your husband to keep your husband. Let me tell you, what Ralph could really use is how to goose your wife so you don’t lose your wife.” – Agnes

“Oh! This is gonna be a gas!” – Agnes

“What kind of housewife would I be if I didn’t have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place.” – Agnes

“Anyone for Parcheesi?” – Vision

“We are an unusual couple you know.” – Wanda
“Oh I don’t think that was ever in question.” – Vision

“And they lived happily ever after.” – Vision

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WandaVision Episode 2 Quotes

“Are you using your night vision, Vision?” – Wanda

“Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them.” – Wanda

“One of us should really determine the source of that sound.” – Vision
“Yes, one of us should.” – Wanda

“Wanda dear. Get the light.” – Vision

“Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully functioning portcullis and no on even knows why.” – Wanda

“In a real magic act everything is fake.” – Wanda

“You tell those tree branches whose boss.” – Wanda

“Senior Scratchy just loves the stage! He played baby Jesus in last year’s Christmas pageant.” – Agnes

“Maybe I could just be myself. More or less?” – Wanda

“The devil’s in the details Bev.” – Dotty
“That’s not the only place he is.” – Agnes

“The only reason I didn’t clap is because I am afraid to move.” – Geraldine

“How is anybody doing this sober?” – Agnes

“Neither for me thank you, I don’t eat food.” – Vision

“Now my wife and I will delight your dumbstruck little faces.” – Vision

“Of course I did the trick right, I’m Illusion. Flourish.” – Vision

“Is that how mirrors work?” – Bev

“I’ve been feeling weird-y all day.” – Vision

“Vision, is this really happening?” – Wanda

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WandaVision Episode 3 Quotes

“How does that happen?” – Vision

“Well I think this line of questioning is fruitless!” – Wanda

“Hypothetically speaking every new father-to-be gets nervous.” – Doctor
“Well I have nerves of steel so there goes your theory Mr. Doctor.” – Vision

“I can’t wait to be a proud, papa-ya!” – Vision

“You got nothing to worry about.” – Wanda
“Nothing to worry about outside of morning sickness, mood swings, aching back and feet.” – Vision

“It’s such a strange sensation, it’s kind of fluttery.” – Wanda

“I can’t wait to meet you little Billy.” – Vision
“Billy? Well I was thinking Tommy.” – Wanda

“Let’s abandon the kitchen!” – Vision

“It seems the people of Westview are always on the verge of discovering our secret.” – Wanda

“Something’s wrong here Wanda.” – Vision

“We just don’t know what to expect. Wil the baby be human or synthezoid? Little bit of both?” – Wanda

“The baby is approximately nine months early.” – Wanda

“Oh no, I missed it.” – Vision

“We ran so fast, it was like we were flying.” – doctor

“Well don’t you want to meet your son as yourself.” – Vision

“I think you might have what it takes to be a nurse.” – doctor

“Small towns, you know. So hard to escape.” – doctor

“I was a twin. I had a brother. His name was Pietro.” – Wanda

“He was killed by Ultron, wasn’t he?” – Geraldine

“She came here because we’re all –” – Herb
“Stop it!” – Agnes

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WandaVision Episode 4 Quotes

“I’m looking for a patient in room 104.” – Monica

“And you look old as hell.” – Monica

“None of them have heard of them.” – Jimmy Woo

“We got the full clown car. It means whatever the threat is, S.W.O.R.D. clearly has no idea what they’re dealing with.” – Darcy

“Maybe I could get that coffee now?” – Darcy

“It’s a sitcom. A 1950s sitcom.” – Darcy

“She’s got a speaking part now.” – Darcy

“What? I’m invested.” – Darcy

“You’re not my neighbor. And you’re definitely not my friend. You are a stranger and an outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here.” – Wanda

“We don’t have to stay here. We could go wherever we want.” – Vision
“No, we can’t. This is our home.” – Wanda

“Don’t worry, darling. I have everything under control.” – Wanda

“It’s Wanda. It’s all Wanda.” – Monica

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WandaVision Episode 5 Quotes

“Uh…do you want me to take that again?” – Agnes

“Wanda? Did you really not see what I saw?” – Vision

“Wanda’s not a terrorist.” – Monica

“Maximoff stormed our facility, stole the Vision’s body, and resurrected him.” – Director Hayfield

“Bring him back without the Mind Stone?” – Jimmy Woo

“Wanda, we are usually so much of the same mind.” – Vision

“Please. Please help me.” – Norm

“Wanda decides what makes it onto her show and what doesn’t.” – Darcy

“Is this yours?” – Wanda

“Stay out of my home. You don’t bother me. I won’t bother you.” – Wanda

“On some level, Wanda, you know I am an ally.” – Monica

“I have what I want and no one will ever take it from me again.” – Wanda

“The urge to run from this feeling is powerful.” – Wanda

“Fix the dead.” – Tommy

“You can do that?” – Agnes

“There are rules in life. We can’t rush aging just because it’s convenient. And we can’t reverse death.” – Wanda

“You can’t control me like you do the rest of them.” – Vision
“Can’t I?” – Wanda

“You never talked to me like this before.” – Wanda

“I’m scared.” – Vision 

“It is wrong.” – Vision

“Long lost bro get to squeeze his stinkin’ sister to death or what?” – Pietro

“She recast Pietro?” – Darcy

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WandaVision Episode 6 Quotes

“He’s our uncle, why would I be scared?” – Billy

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma.” – Pietro

“Well, there were no other clothes in my closet, so…” – Vision

“No, that’s not what you’re suppose to–” – Wanda

“Be good.” – Vision

“Don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward.” – Monica

“I know I look different.” – Pietro

“I wouldn’t wanna be reminded of the past either.” – Pietro

“Vision? Oh, he’s not on duty.” – Herb

“I’m just trying to do my part, okay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief.” – Pietro

“What’s an Avenger?” – Vision

“Wanda won’t even let us think about it.” – Agnes

“The energy inside has re-written your cells on a molecular level twice.” – Darcy

“I’m impressed.” – Pietro

“I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty.” – Wanda

“He’s coming apart!” – Darcy

“I can hear dad in my head.” – Billy

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WandaVision Episode 7 Quotes

“We’ve all been there right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us, intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created.” – Wanda

“At least you’re already in makeup.” – Strong Man

“You don’t remember me from last night?” – Vision

“Well if he doesn’t want to be here, there’s nothing I can do about it.” – Wanda

“Don’t believe anything that man said. He is not your uncle.” – Wanda

“Vision is made of vibranium. They literally inherited tough skin.” – Wanda

“I actually did bite a kid once.” – Agnes

“Fine. I’ll go out with you but I’m ordering the lobster.” – Darcy

“I’m so sorry. We were double booked by the agents.” – Vision

“Do you think this is what you deserve?” – Interviewer

“Because the world doesn’t revolve around you…or does it” – commercial narrator

“You’re quiet, Agnes. On the inside.” – Billy

“You try telling a 10-year-old that his mother is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” – Agnes

“It’s being rewritten. ” – Jimmy

“And she had to watch.” – Darcy

“What I do know is I’ve been watching WandaVision for the past week. And the love you two have is real. You belong together.” – Darcy

“All you do is lie!” – Wanda

“I can’t control this pain anymore and I don’t think I want to because it’s my truth.” – Monica

“Where are the twins?” – Wanda

“You didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?” – Agatha Harkness

“The name’s Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.” – Agatha Harkness

“It’s been Agatha all along.”

“And I killed Sparky too.” – Agatha Harkness

“Snoopers gonna snoop.” – Pietro

wandavision episode 8 scarlet witch

WandaVision Episode 8 Quotes

“I did not break your rules. They simply bent to my power.” – Agatha

“You’re magic’s no good here.” – Agatha

“Magic on autopilot.” – Agatha

“Fake Pietro. Fietro, if you will.” – Agatha

“Shenanigan is like problem, but more silly than scary, but sometimes can be a little scary.” – Wanda

“You used a probability hex.” – Agatha

“Don’t be scared. You already lived it once.” – Agatha

“Little orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an Infinity Stone that amplified what otherwise would have died on the vine.” – Agatha

“It’s just like a wave washing over me, again and again. It knocks me down, and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. It’s just gonna drown me.” – Wanda

“But what is grief if not love persevering?” – Vision

“What happened when he wasn’t there to pull you back from the darkness.” – Agatha

“I deserve it.” – Wanda

“It is our legal and ethical obligation.” – Hayward

“Not everyone has the kind of power that could bring their soulmate back online. Sorry. Back to life.” – Hayward

“I cannot allow you to take three-billion dollars’ worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground.” – Hayward

“I can’t feel you. I can’t feel you.” – Wanda

“This is chaos magic Wanda, and that makes you the Scarlet Witch.” – Agatha

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WandaVision Episode 9 Quotes

“No dear, I’m counting on it.” – Agatha

“I’ll let you keep this pathetic little corner of the world all to yourself.” – Agatha

“And I was told you were powerful.” – White Vision

“Vision, this is our home.” – Wanda
“Then let’s fight for it.” – Vision

“No one can hear you from in here.” – Fake Pietro

“Wanda Maximoff must be neutralized.” – White Vision

“They’ll believe the Vision that emerges from the rubble is the same one she illegally tried to bring back to life.” – Hayward

“Flourish.” – Jimmy Woo

“Did you know there’s an entire chapter devoted to you in the Darkhold?” – Agatha

“Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It’s your destiny to destroy the world.” – Agatha

“I’m not what you say I am.” – Wanda

“She’s your meat puppet, I just cut her strings.” – Agatha

“You tied your family to this twisted world and now one can’t exist without the other.” – Agatha

“Handle the military, mom will be right back.” – Wanda

“Thanks for the lesson…but I don’t need you to tell me who I am.” – Wanda

“I’ll give you the role you chose. The nosey neighbor.” – Wanda

“You have no idea what you’ve unleashed. You’re gonna need me.” – Agatha

“So, it would appear that our dream home has been reduced to a fixer-upper.” – Vision

“No, not for us.” – Wanda

“A family is forever. We could never truly leave each other even if we tried.” – Wanda

“You Vision, are the piece of the Mind Stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope. But mostly you’re my love.” – Wanda

“We have said goodbye before. So it stands to reason…” – Vision
“We’ll say hello again.” – Wanda

“They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them.” – Monica

“Given the chance and given your power, I’d bring my mom back. I know I would.” – Monica

“I’m sorry. For all the pain I’ve caused.” – Wanda

“I don’t understand this power. But I will.” – Wanda

“I was sent my an old friend of your mother’s. He heard you’ve been grounded. He’d like to meet with you.”

“Mom, help!” – Billy

Be sure to come back each week as I add more of my favorite quotes from Marvel’s WandaVision!
Want more WandaVision? Be sure to check out all my WandaVision coverage!

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About WandaVision

Starring Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany, “WandaVision” marks the first series from Marvel Studios streaming exclusively on Disney+. The series is a blend of classic television and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in which Wanda Maximoff and Vision – two super-powered beings living idealized suburban lives – begin to suspect that everything is not as it seems. Key art and new images are also available now.

WandaVision is available to watch on Disney+ now!

1 Comment

  1. This is a great collection of quotes! I am anxiously waiting to find out what happens next.

    Please edit a couple of words for the pleasure of your readers:

    “You tell those branches who’s boss” (not whose).

    “Señor Scratchy” (not Senior).

    Thanks for compiling this list ❤️

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